If You Care For Whanau Or A Family Member Who Has A Disability Or Illness

YOU ARE A FAMILY CARER

  • Often family members do not associate themselves with the role of ‘carer’ or ‘caregiver’. After all, family life is all about caring for each other. But there is a difference between the duties and responsibilities related to caring for each other in typical circumstances and caring for each other when there are additional needs.

  • Caregiving is a unique kind of experience that encompasses the usual family practices, plus the need to provide direct assistance in daily living tasks, some medically, educationally and developmentally specialized tasks, as well as the multitude of responsibilities involved with managing the requirements of disability or illness.

  • Have you ever thought about the diverse skill set needed to meet these needs and responsibilities?

The Emotional Roadmap of a Caregiving Experience

The Caregiving Years - Six Stages To A Meaningful Journey ... By Denise M Brown

  • STAGE 1: The EXPECTANT Carer - You can see you will soon need to help a family member or friend - Your mission is to prepare

  • STAGE 2 : The APPRENTICE Carer - You are getting your toes wet and beginning to help a family member or friend - Your mission is to experiment

  • STAGE 3: The ENTRENCHED Carer - You are now involved in the daily activities of caring for a family member or friend - Your mission is to develop a routine

  • STAGE 4: The PRAGMATIC Carer - You are STILL helping a family member or friend - Your mission is to gain understanding

  • STAGE 5: The TRANSITIONING Carer - You can see the light at the end of the tunnel of your caregiving experience - Your mission is to shift from doing to being

  • STAGE 6: The GOD SPEED Carer - Your caregiving role has ended - Your mission is to live your lessons learned

My Life (Right Now) Wheel Helps You To

Determine what’s going well and what you’d like to change.


Use this wheel to spark a conversation

What word jumps out at you?
What word isn't on the wheel, that you wish was?

 How might you get more of that?

These Skills Are Developed During Your Caregiving Experience

They then become your go-to actions during times of stress, worry and frustration.

  • Stage 1: ASKING

    I ASK for what I need and want. I ASK for information and insights. I ASK about and document the stories.

  • Stage 2: FINDING

    I FIND what I need. I FIND another way when one way doesn't work. I FIND what helps.

  • Stage 3: RECEIVING

    I RECEIVE to keep my own wellness. I RECEIVE support from those who understand. I RECEIVE a fresh start at any time.

  • Stage 4: WELCOMING

    I WELCOME plans for my future. I WELCOME forgiveness. I WELCOME what brings me joy.

  • Stage 5: ALLOWING

    I ALLOW the natural cycle of life. I ALLOW memories. I ALLOW the choices right for me.

  • Stage 6: TREASURING

    I TREASURE all I did. I TREASURE all I love. I TREASURE who I have become.

Healing From Coping Fatigue

You cope with so much when you serve. You cope with what goes wrong, with who disappears, with who (and what) won’t help. At some point, you’re ability to cope gets over-worked and overwhelmed. We'll help you heal from coping fatigue.

Healing From Worry Fatigue

In this one-hour presentation, I share reflections on how we can: —Create a plan for our worries —Communicate our worries to others who may judge us for worrying —Use a breathing exercise to stay calm when the worries want to take over.

Healing From Change Fatigue

Ah, the changes. It’s not only the changes in your life, it’s also the constant changes in your day. You get so tired from always adjusting to the changes. It's like you wake up every day into a different life. How do you feel better when you’re too tired of all that’s different? We'll focus on healing from all the changes and find what grounds us to keep going.

Healing From Guilt Fatigue

When we serve, we may feel so much compassion for others that we feel guilty for the good that happens for us. We also may feel guilty when a difficult situation occurs because we believe we need to protect everyone in our life. Let’s help you heal by letting go of the guilt in order to embrace what’s possible while releasing what’s unrealistic.